Wednesday, December 04, 2002

oh my god. it's dec. 4 and i have to be making my way permanently to N.Y. on dec. 21 in my wretched 1991 suburban. it will be a 55mph trip for sure. must try to conserve gas. must not cause too many vibrations so metal parts will stay put. i think that adds about 2 hours to the trip. hoo-ray. no, wait. hip, hip hoo-ray. this is such a huge step for me. i will be operating several pay grades above my comfort zone. it all hinges on finding decent employment. being self employed for the last 12 years has put me in a bit of a rut. even though kelly supports me 110 percent i know she is just as afraid as i am. we are trying not to let fear drive our decision making. but it's damn hard sometimes, right? life will surely be moving at the speed of (insert own choice word here) in three weeks. it feels like it's going to be one of those movie scenes. you know. the one where you have to hang onto the back edge of a car hood and the maniacal driver is staring at you while the speedo tickles a hundred. you know your gonna die... you feel your hands slipping... oh man i hope it's not going to have to be a closed casket funeral. being a hollywood stuntman sure would have it's advantages right now.

Saturday, November 30, 2002


Friday, November 29, 2002

did you ever notice how painful it is to tell the truth about your feelings? but then amazingly after you do your body signals to you that all is well. other people want to hear the truth. they want to hear it because they need to trust you. how often have you felt the coldness of someone that doesn't trust you? my GF and i are learning every day to not hide what we feel, but to look each other in the eye and say it like we see it. some days are better than others of course. i am so thankful she wants to spend the rest of her life with me. that gives us a lot of time to enjoy each other while building a solid union.

Wednesday, November 27, 2002

i just got off the phone with the love of my life. she had described pictures of pierced penises that she found on another blog. hope she wasn't trying to give me a hint because, damn, i don't think i could get that drunk. i used to think i was kinky. now i clearly see i belong in the novice catagory.

Friday, November 22, 2002

wow, i just got out of blog hell. i knew i should have listened to my 10 year old niece when she was trying to tell me about her computer.
things i want to say will soon be apppearing here.